"Not all those who wander are lost."
-J.R.R. TolkienWhen I contemplated starting my own photography business, I was stressed at work, bored with my scheduled days, and was lacking inspiration. So I did what everyone does when pouting isn't accomplishing anything. I posted a status on Facebook. I can't remember verbatim, but it was something like, "I know I am not who I am meant to be, yet. I need a change!"
Yes, it was exactly what you are thinking. One of those vague, 'pay attention to me' statuses. Guilty as charged. Sometimes, to voice a worry to the world lifts some of the weight from my shoulders. This was one of those times.
When I posted that status I typed it with gusto, feeling empowered by typing my mission online for the world to see. I was going to work harder at improving myself and reaching my potential! I said it on the internet, so it must be true... right?
Then I got this comment: "Oh, Jennifer. You are always at a crossroads in your life."
I felt my heart drop as I read the comment. Just moments before, I was reveling in the feeling of clicking the "post" button. At the time, it was like I was clicking to turn over my new leaf. But after reading the comment I immediately began to questioned myself. "Obviously you've come to these grand ideas of enlightenment before, Jennifer. You saw how that panned out. What makes you think this time will be different?"
My question presented my answer. The difference this time was ME. I was a different person than I was during the other times of self-imposed turmoil. I am a different person today than I was yesterday. So what if I've failed a thousand times before? So what if I don't know what I want to do with my life... for the rest of my life? I am forever changing. My mind is allowed to change with it. In fact, I hope it does. I hope I continue to strive for change, betterment, and maybe even a little turmoil if it means I am improving myself and the world around me.
Remember, you may feel like you are spending your whole life searching for that something that you are meant to do or that someone you are meant to be. It doesn't mean you are directionless. It simply means you have not barricaded any possibilities. Every path is open to you.